Dear Faith,
My son is 2.75 years old and recently shocked me by looking me in the eye and saying, “I no love you mama.” Shocked. I said, “you don’t love me? you don’t like that I am changing your diaper right now, do you.” He said, “I just no love you mama. I no love you.” I was stuck. He normally tells me he loves me 20 times a day and is effusive. I feel hurt, of course, that he said this– but mostly have no idea what to do about it. I don’t want to encourage it, but it seems strange to ignore it. I kind of ignored it, “I said, you are upset with mama right now. I love you, bug, even when you are upset with me.” And then I walked away, because *I* needed a moment. ugh. Do you have any insight into this. I don’t want this to become a pattern. I feel rather manipulated and stuck.
Dear Mama,
You poor thing! Thanks for writing. As hard as it seems, I want to encourage you not to take it personally when your son says this. If your son is normally ‘effusive,’ then telling you that he doesn’t love you isn’t going to mean much–unless he sees that it means a lot to you when he does it. At this age (and most other ages, really) children try out different things, and when they hit on one that gets a big reaction, they feel compelled to try it some more.
“Play” Sad
Re-Connect
Address Needs Before Methods
Remember, our kids DO love us, and they want our love and attention more than anything. Being 2.75 is a hard age, full of new emotions and experiences. We can start teaching them the murky realm of relationship, in ways that are fun and loving.